i have nothing else to do right now

i saw a bunch of movies this weekend, including avatar and inglourious basterds. i thought avatar looked amazing but the plot was the usual this-is-how-american-greed-destroys-everything-but-love-will-save-us-all type thing, which im not really into. and i had my eyes closed through about half of inglourious basterds, and then had them open half the night since i couldnt sleep from all the blood and violence. it was a good movie, weirdly funny, but im not sure i understand the ending. it was a good way to wrap up the movie but it was strange to me since history clearly and obviously did not happen that way. so i wasnt sure what to make of it.

anyways. i had my usual rambling thoughts today on the way to work and was feeling kinda down but surprisingly, going to work made me feel better. in general im feeling so much better than during the semester… i wonder why. it doesnt make any sense, really.

today

i painted my nails, ate some cereal, straightened my hair, went to work. then i came back and googled how to make garlic bread without an oven (luckily, just a regular ol’ toaster will do). i havent spoken out loud at all except for the hour and a half i was teaching. but i made sure my itunes and ipod have been constantly playing to keep me company. it was just a strange day. not bad, but strange. 

im in the dorm lounge since the internet in my room still refuses to work. i kept my computer open last night, and i had internet on the staircase, even in the hallway, but once i opened my door it went out. lame. its freezing in here and loud. i bet the people think im a creeper, always in here with my computer and headphones on and whatever, but im sorry, im just not at the stage where i can randomly introduce myself to a group of people i dont know. honestly i think its kinda weird when other people do that to me.

surprisingly im not bored these days. i realized i have many hobbies and im an expert at making the time pass without thinking too much. i knit and watch dramas, i surf fashion blogs like its my job, i make lesson plans, i study korean (sort of), i refresh my email and the weather forecast just in case something’s come up in the past 30 seconds. i originally wanted to write during break. i wanted to do some exercises and practice because i kinda miss it. but my sanity is more important right now, and i dont want to know what ill find in that place i go to when i write. so style.com will just have to do for now.

theres some people i keep thinking about. people at home, people who contact me on facebook after a million years (and people who dont), people that just pop into my head over and over. i guess right now i have faith in destiny, fate, grace, karma, God—all these things that i simultaneously believe in—that no matter how badly ive messed up, whats supposed to happen will happen. the people who are ultimately supposed to be in my life will be there. and one day ill stop being an idiot, and ill make them stay.

hannah- freelance whales

ignore the visual, this song is gorgeous.