mood swing

in the last couple of weeks, i have: hiked up two mountains, been to the bookstore twice, gotten a 99 on a midterm, written one essay and two paper proposals, organized my closet, and finished reading my sixth book so far this semester. 

okay, we’re all caught up now.

last week i went to buy some knitting needles and yarn, and it cost me more than half of my weekly budget (and since that’s $150, you can imagine how much i spent). that’s something i can’t get used to in korea. it seems more expensive to do things yourself than to just buy everything ready-made. i can spend an arm and a leg on knitting stuff, or i can go down into the subway and buy a decent scarf for around five dollars.

sticking to $150 is really difficult. i eat muffins, which i bought in a 12-pack at costco, to save on lunch. its actually kind of convenient since i usually wake up an hour before my classes and dont have time to get food. im trying to save so i can travel during winter break and not run out of cash.

its a little hard to resist spending money though, since for the majority of the exchange students here, they have only one month left in korea. so they’re going out like crazy and spending whatever’s left of their money without worrying about it. im a little jealous haha. i also cant believe there’s only a few weeks left. im not looking forward to winter break… after coming back from traveling, i have to find a place to stay by myself for a month. its still a thought i cant get used to, but im sure ill be stronger and better for it in the end.

until then, i have to force myself to keep up with my readings, pinch every penny, and treasure my expensive knitting.

flatlined.

one random day last week there was a big thunderstorm. i had just left my dorm room for the bus stop when the rain started to come down, but i didnt think itd be too bad so i didnt go back for my umbrella. but after 15 minutes of waiting for the bus, the lightning was starting and i was soaked through. a girl came up to me and said, “we can share my umbrella.” it was so nice of her. we talked in korean for a little while and then finally our bus came. 

i wonder if these kinds of little things happened to me in DC or if im just noticing them now because im “in korea.” like, all of a sudden the small details of every day are shiny and bright because im not at home. i hope that i can take this awareness of life back to the US with me. 

im supposed to be studying for midterms, but im not. i watched a movie, cut my nails, facebook stalked, and now im blogging, all in an attempt to procrastinate. for some reason, trying to study is making me sad—not bored, not frustrated, not annoyed—just sad. looking at my review sheet makes me depressed. maybe its a weird homesick thing? im not sure.

in any case, this is making me nervous about winter break. its two months long. theres no way ill be able to handle all the alone time ill have. im going to try and travel a little, but… i guess i have my own reasons for being apprehensive about leaving korea for too long.

molasses brain

everyone was busy on friday, and classes were cancelled, so i went to hangang park to kill some time before the whole panini-for-dinner-in-front-of-my-computer thing started. the park actually consists of a few different subway stops along both sides of the han river, and ferries connect the different sections. the subway ride was almost 45 minutes, and i got to sit which was nice. 

when i got to the park it was windy and cold, i had forgotten that its always more windy by the water. i should have brought a jacket. i walked around and took pictures. after awhile i felt kind of dumb by myself since everyone was in groups or couples, so i sat on some stairs and took out my textbook. it reminded me of when i went to the jefferson memorial by myself last year on the day before my birthday. i had sat on the stairs that day, watched the wedding photos being taken and the kids running all over, and just let my brain wander around. so i did the same for awhile at hangang park until it got too cold. i went into the cafe and sat, again with my textbook to prevent me from feeling pathetic for sitting there by myself. i started to feel lonely after awhile so i finished my chocolate milk and left.

i enjoyed the long subway ride back. i figure while im here im going to have to do a lot of wandering around by myself, so i should get used to it. its not too bad. i like being able to keep my ipod on for a four-hour block without interruptions. every time the song changes, my train of thought does too, on this slow path controlled by my playlists.